Blog

It’s hard to believe, but we’re nearly halfway through the fall semester. Often, this time of year puts students in a double bind: their workload simultaneously introduces a great deal of stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions while crowding out the time to discuss and process those emotions.

This time of year especially, then, any experienced tutor will tell you that coaching the emotional and psychological aspects of academic work is just as important as more straightforward teaching of material and skills. With this in mind, we recently hosted Marc Brackett, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, for a conversation with our tutors and other educators about the power of emotional intelligence in learning. Marc and his team are the pioneers driving the Social and Emotional Learning movement now spreading across American schools.

All of our tutors are proud to be, as Marc would say, an “Uncle Marvin” to our students: someone who genuinely listens, cares, and makes them feel seen while helping them reach their full potential. In that spirit, we’ve asked veteran humanities and test prep tutor Alex Trow for the tips she uses to help her students tackle academic challenges and capitalize on existing wins around this time of year. Read on for the highlights from Marc and Alex’s work:

EQ Is a Necessary Component of Success

Marc’s team’s studies have shown that students who practice emotional intelligence have better grades, lower levels of anxiety and depression, better sleep, and eventually more successful careers. In the words of the authors of a 2019 study published through the American Psychological Association, “it’s not enough to be smart and hardworking. Students must also be able to understand and manage their emotions to succeed at school.” Students who can successfully process emotions like fear, anger, or sadness will thrive, making the most of their gifts.

Mentors Matter

Students who feel they can be honest with mentors and supporters—sharing worries, concerns, and difficult experiences—will not only be able to get better support from those helpers, but will give themselves an opportunity to examine issues outside of their own heads. According to Johns Hopkins, labeling fears is a “proven technique from psychologists and negotiation experts to defuse them.” The simple act of speaking concerns aloud can make them more manageable. We can also help students open up by creating an environment of empathy, non-judgment, and good listening.

Emotional Awareness Takes Practice

Students can work to be more aware of how they process events. Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are deeply connected, and moving thoughts from the overwhelming-and-intense end of the spectrum to the managed-and-productive end will have a huge impact on behavior and well-being. Often this is just a matter of reframing one’s state, moving from “I don’t understand the material because I’m incapable of getting it” to “I don’t understand the material because of the way it’s presented and should seek out support.” The first type of student may send hours staring at the same page while building anxiety and anger. The second will reach out to a peer, a teacher, or a tutor for additional help.

Gratitude Fosters Growth

Marc studied hundreds of undergraduate students at Yale and found that the most pervasive feeling was not anxiety, but envy. Students are constantly comparing themselves to others—academically, financially, and socially—which leads to counterproductive feelings of incompetence and jealousy. The greatest antidote to this is gratitude. Gratitude should be a built-in part of our day, and can be facilitated by a simple self-reflection on a few things for which we are genuinely thankful. This practice can shift our mindset, helping to focus on personal growth and accomplishments rather than external comparisons, ultimately fostering a sense of contentment and well-being that will translate to success in other spheres.

About the author:

Alexandra Trow

A double graduate of Yale, Alex has a tutoring resume that's hard to beat: she integrates her own academic background and passions with a decade's worth of experience tutoring students from New York's top private schools in test prep, academic courses, and AP exams. But what sets her apart is that she's a truly ebullient personality, combining energy, enthusiasm, and bad jokes to make even the driest material fun. Few other tutors bring Alex's level of encouragement and support to a relationship, and she's an expert at helping learners articulate their concerns, navigate difficult ideas, and approach unfamiliar material with gusto. Alex blends big-sister-energy with personalized tools, resources, and advice, all tailored to lead to confidence, autonomy, and mastery—an exuberant academic guide who leads students forward and backs them up as they charge ahead.

Subjects: Writing, Humanities, ISEE, SSAT, ACT, SAT, Lower/Middle School General Subject Support

Whether we can be a trusted resource for a student in need of a little extra support or a gateway for a student interested in a psychology/EQ independent study, we’d love to help.

And in the spirit of helping, we would be remiss not to share a brief call to action. One of our tutors, Nick Brown, lives in Asheville, which is still suffering from the effects of Hurricane Helene. Nick has compiled a list of non-profits doing great and important work on the ground to restore basic livable standards in the area. If you can help, please do: Spreadsheet of Giving.